On June 1st, Depot Dad will have been live for one year. This is my 134th post. I really can’t believe it.

One year ago I was a mess. A happy mess, but still a mess. I had no idea how I was going to go forward with my life. I figured a bunch of other people must have survived, even prospered, after the end of their marriages or as single parents and I went on the internet to find them.

Wow, did I get lucky. Read More...

Well, I’m not sure what to make of this. I received this email earlier in the month and I’m passing it along here for your perusal. It is an invitation from a casting person for the show Supernanny. Now I’ll say right here that I have watched, and benefited from watching Supernanny. I think she is awesome. But lets face it, it is no secret that they find parents who are doing a “less than stellar” job so Supernanny can work her magic. It makes for the best “Before and After” shots for the television program. I understand that. But this email specifically solicits SINGLE DADS.

I think I see the angle....”Oh those poor helpless single dads. They let their kids sit in front of the T.V. all day. They cook them frozen dinners. They’re too busy on their cell phones to help them at the playground. Good thing Supernanny arrives just in time to save the day.”

Maybe that is the angle. Or maybe that is just my paranoia kicking in, I don’t know. At any rate, if any of you single dads are interested in being on the show, shoot me an email and I will pass on the contact info.

Did any of you other single parent bloggers get this email? Was it spit out from a form mailer?

Here is the email I received...

Jim,
I am contacting you from the casting department of the show “Supernanny” on ABC. We are currently casting for Season 5, and I thought some of your readers (other single dads) might be interested in applying for the show.
We are sending a casting producer to your area soon to meet with families, so we are trying to spread the word now for people to apply. I’d love to send you more information and give you more details, so please don’t hesitate to contact me using the contact info below.
Thanks,
Candra Nazzaro

My mother told me that I was the easiest child to care for (compared to my older brother and sister) at least when it came to visiting her friends. She often told the story of how once, visiting her friend while my siblings were in school, she handed me a small piece of celery which I then went on to push around the kitchen floor for two hours pretending it was a car.

Call it self sufficiency, call it good imagination, or call it Asperger Syndrome, what ever it was, I had it. And, I like to think that, to some extent, I still do. My hero, Wittgenstein, called it “making your own oxygen.” And I think it is a prerequisite for happiness.

I’m reminded of this because I’ve noticed lately that Oliver and Amélie have been relying on me to structure every minute of their day. As soon as they have finished solving a puzzle, playing a game, drawing a picture, watching a video, or going for a walk, they invariably ask, “What can I do now, Papa?” And I think I must be getting a bit remiss in trying to show them how to make their own oxygen. I can’t remember a single time as a child ever needing my parents to suggest something to do. I had a playroom packed with toys and I spent many golden afternoons playing there.

So I am curious about this quality. Is it an innate attitude or is it something that can be taught? Is it a symptom of this generation of video fed children? Oliver and Amélie have a room full of toys and they just sit there. They get engaged if I join them on the floor, but they really do rely on me to “set the script” for the kind of play we do. I do enjoy this, and I’m happy to oblige, but lately I have my doubts about how much I should be leading the way here.

For the record, Oliver and Amélie are 7 and 6. I’d love to hear from readers with older children who might have some insight as to whether this is an age thing, a personality thing, or a learned behavior.

. . . . . . . . . .

I have to say that after ten months of co-parenting, things have gone pretty smoothly. I’m lucky enough to have an ex who is cooperative in all matters of coordinating our children’s lives. But this past week an issue has come up and it is something that has left me unsure of how to proceed. Read More...

This morning Oliver and Amélie were having breakfast. I was making lunches.

Oliver was so excited to tell Amélie something that he could barely get his words out. I heard a stream of meaningless syllables.

Me- Oliver, slow down, I can’t understand a word you are saying. You sound like this: amorifashlimitarbydok.

Amélie- I understood him, Papa.

Me- You did? Sheesh! It must be some secret kid language that I don’t understand.

Amelie after a minute to think- Well, papa, there is a grown up language that I don’t understand.

Me- Right. And you know what, honey? I don’t understand that one too well either.

After I moved out on my own, one of the first online resources I found to help me in my new part-time single parent life was the website iheartsingleparents.com. Back in April, it was still just getting started, but even then it was already a bustling community of other single parents offering lots of support, laughs, tips, and friendships.

I liked the other members I met there and I enjoyed learning about their lives and struggles. Soon after, I wanted to make my own contribution to the community, not to mention also draw some attention to myself and my blog. I got the idea to make an instructional video that teaches you how to juggle while making a veiled allusion to the fact that learning how to juggle somehow helps single parents manage all of the various demands in our lives.

Read More...

The summer when O turned five years old, his mother and I started looking around for kindergartens. We had a really nice one lined up, but some last minute confusion led to us getting bumped to a waiting list. We had only a few days before school started and we desparately went looking for another school. Read More...

I’m house-sitting today over at mssinglemama.com. It was a real honor to be asked over since Ms Single Mama was the first single parent blogger I found when I entered the ranks of part-time single parents. And it was very cool that I got to meet her during her west coast tour of single parent bloggers.

I told her that since I was so new to the single parent world, I wasn’t sure what I could offer her readers, so I simply wrote a little piece on how the first year of being a single parent is like Boot Camp. Check it out.

. . . . . . . . . .

I’ve been meaning to follow up on my first post of Philosophical Musings on Single Parenthood. In the first part, I wondered about the definition of the designation Single Parent. In this part, I want to talk about the second thing I noticed about the mother in the cofeeshop. That thing is competence.

Besides wondering about her single parent status, I couldn’t help but notice how in control that mother was. And it stands in stark contrast to the world I find myself in.

Read More...

On a rare occasion a few days ago, I actually sat down in a coffee shop and orderred a cappuccino “not to go.” I sat down, took long slow sips, and drifted into a contemplative state. It didn’t last though because minutes later, I noticed, through the large window, a mother coming toward the coffee shop pushing a baby stroller and coralling two other small children around her.

Read More...

Its time for me to confirm what many of you have already suspected. I love single moms.

And why shouldn’t I? Single moms have been a part of my life almost from the start. My own mother and father split when I was three and my brother, sister and I were raised by my mother. And though my mother later remarried, my image of her as a hard working single mother never faded.

Read More...

Here is the first of what I HOPE will be a frequent feature at Depot Dad. A simple tip that I found to make single parenting go a little smoother. These tips will all be tested in the field of battle and are required to deliver real world results. Of course, my children are not your children, sure enough, so your milage may vary.

As the meal time provider in my family, both before and after the separation, I have struggled with how to best feed my children. Most readers here know the meal questions oh too well. How do you make it nutritious? How to you provide variety? How do you do it on a tight budget? How do you find meals that are easy to prepare, and whose leftovers may provide delicious lunches the following day? It’s not easy.

Read More...

When he was a young man, one of my personal heroes, the philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein, (well, I did say hero after all, not next door neighbor) quickly volunteered himself up to the front lines at the outbreak of World War I. He took one of the most dangerous positions available: manning a spotlight tower, a position that made him an obvious target to enemy guns. He did this, not as any show of bravado or machismo, but because, as he put it, ”facing death square in the face will give me a chance to become a decent human being.”

Read More...