Just in case anyone started thinking I knew what I was doing around here, I thought I would share a few of the less than stellar ideas which, at one time or another, I once held. I won’t say exactly when I had these ideas. Some are from long ago and some are too recent to admit.

1. “Hmm, I’ll bet it would be easier to get this boxed pizza home on my bike if I carry it home under my arm like a book.”

2. “My girlfriend just asked me if those jeans make her look fat. We have a relationship based on honesty, so I will be honest...”

3. “Let’s see. I can breathe through my mouth or my nose. I can eat this peanut with my mouth, so it makes sense that...”

4. “Being a cartoonist will really help me meet girls.”

5. She hasn’t said a kind word to me in 3 months. She hasn’t touched me in 5. I think there is hope.

6. “Sure, Rich, you can hide your dope from your mother in my bedroom.”

7. “Wow. I never knew IRS auditors could be so cute. Maybe I should flirt with her.”

Hoo Boy! There’s my bowl of humble wheaties for the day. I hope you won’t mind if I follow this post with a list of my finer moments. See you tomorrow.

photo by siloto