The writer Henry Miller once advised, “Never read a book you could write yourself.” The point being that the act of reading should be reserved for material that expands your horizons, challenges your prejudices, and seduces you away from familiar habits of thought. Read More...

Didn’t you read the headline here? Why are you still reading this? I told you this was going to be boring. You see, there just hasn’t been much going on with me worth blogging about. But people keep asking how I am doing, how my treatment is coming along, etc.

I’m just here to tell you that all is well. I feel great. I am eating only good stuff, still exercise on free mornings and generally am healthier and happier than I have been in a long time. I don’t know why, but lately, everything is funny to me. I find myself laughing at the most mundane and ridiculous aspects of our lives. I like it. Read More...

In the world of dating, there are red flags; serious issues that require closer inspection, but might be worked through, and then there are single statements that function like those emergency eject buttons that blast jet pilots out of crashing airplanes. Yes, these are all real first date quotes I have encountered.

“What? You haven’t heard of my guru, Babarashiswamimerti?”

“You don’t have any motorcycles?”

“Oh, I didn’t bring any money.”

“Are you going to finish that?” [RE: my dessert]

“I want to be an actress.”

“Steve Jobs is a ass.” (said immediately after I mention that I am an Apple consultant.)

“I feel a real connection with you.”

“You shouldn’t wear shirts like that.”

“I don’t read.”

“Do cats count as friends?”

. . . . . . . . . .

O’s homework for Monday was to bring something to his second grade class that was meaningful to him. We talked about it as we walked back to the car after a soccer game.

“Well,” he said,” I could bring my new skeleton warrior. Um...because its a toy I’ve only had for three days.”

“I think your teacher is thinking more along the lines of something else,” I said, “To be special, it has to be different than anything else. It has to be something that, well, if you were to lose it somehow, you would be really sad.”

O thought for a moment and then said,”Well then, why don’t you just come with me to class.”

Every dad has his day, or at least his moment. This past weekend, I got mine.

. . . . . . . . . .

I am keeping my promise to myself and have started going for very early morning bike rides. I have outfitted my bike with all of the requisite lights and reflectors. I’ve been getting up at 5:00 on the days when I do not have the children and get home about 6:30. I feel great! Its a bit colder than I anticipated and I am going to need to get some warmer bike clothing.

I am not a hard core biker by any stretch of the imagination, though I do love it. I find that when I am riding, it is not with the joy of someone who is working out hard and getting in shape, rather I feel the same playfulness I felt when I was twelve years old and riding around the corn fields of west Omaha. It’s great.

As I cruise home, the sky is just turning pink and I can switch off my lights. I ride down the humble main street of small town Novato and a few shops have their lights on as owners get ready for their day. Workers are ambling down the sidewalks carrying their lunch coolers on their way to the construction site down the street.

So I miss a little sleep. I start every day happy.

. . . . . . . . . .

Several people responded to my pop quiz about Depot Dad. Some of the entries came in via comments, others through email. Lets see how they did....
Read More...

Ok, so this is the day I’ve been waiting for for a long time. I finally met the melanoma specialist and also the surgeon who will perform an operation on me. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Here is what happened...

Sylvie drove me to the UCSF Medical Center in San Francisco where we met with Dr. Kashani, a melanoma specialist. Dr. Kashani examined me, looked at my test results, and informed both of us about what we could expect in the coming months. This included two operations. One small one to remove whatever is left of the mole I had removed over my ear. Dr. Kashani said that they would like to remove a larger area around the location of the mole. Secondly, and more importantly, there would be an operation to remove the cancerous lymph node(s) in my neck. Read More...

Though I’ve only been blogging for four months, some of the emails I’ve received have displayed pretty acute powers of observation when it comes to Depot Dad’s personality. Maybe I’m revealing more between the lines than I realize. Not only that, but this blog has also recently reached several people from my distant, long ago past, in that mythical, mysterious land called Omaha. Maybe they have an unfair advantage when it comes to knowing me. But that would only be if I hadn’t changed much since I was sixteen.

So I ask you. How well do you know Depot Dad?

Read More...

Amélie is about to lose her first tooth. She is very proud and showing everyone.

Oliver is doing great in Soccer so far this year. I’m looking forward to attending as many games as I can.

The school year is also off to a great start. Awesome teachers all around. God, I love good public education and educators. Read More...

Okay, not really. But I do want to announce that Sylvie has set up a really awesome website to track the more technical aspects of my cancer and to be a staging area for volunteer coordination and scheduling.

 http://counteract.wordpress.com

You can expect this site to become much more active once I get my final treatment plan in the coming days. Then the real work begins.
UPDATE: I’ll ask Sylvie to unlock the comments there later this morning.

Thanks, Sylvie. You are an awesome Cancer Team Captain.

. . . . . . . . . .

Jim has nothing on his mind and nothing in his brain either.

This morning I got the results of the MRI scans that I had last week. They verify that the cancer has not moved to my brain.

So now I can chalk up this cancer as just another entity, in a long line of them, that does not want my body.

. . . . . . . . . .

I always loved this line. Now I love it even more.

C. MONTGOMERY BURNS:
“I call this enemy, the sun.
Since the dawn of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun.
I will do the next best thing; blocking it out.”

. . . . . . . . . .

I wish I had made up that headline, but it is actually one of my favorite Homer Simpson quotes.

Frankly, it is how I am feeling today. I did a stupid thing. I read about melanoma on the internet this morning. It’s a miracle I haven’t until now, but now the damage is done. After yesterday’s brief light, I find I am right back down in the funks. According to the website, Melanoma International Foundation, I have stage III melanoma. Treatment looks like it is going to be a serious bitch. At least a year long, and it says I’ll be feeling pretty much like serious shit the entire time. And then there are no promises. Melanoma sucks. Read More...

Depot Dad’s blood tests come back clean!

This means that the cancer has NOT travelled to my liver (a common destination for advanced melanoma) or anywhere else. [UPDATE: Let me be more clear: My blood tests show none of the tell-tale signs that the cancer has spread.]

FInally some good news! I just know it is because of all of the positive vibes coming over the blogosphere! Please keep ‘em coming. More news as I get it.....

The war is not over, but at least the battlefield is smaller than it might have been.

. . . . . . . . . .

I spent the day today at a medical imaging center. I was strapped to one of those tube shaped scanning machines. The first one was used to scan my head. They placed a plastic mask over my head, about an inch over my face, then they slid me into the scanning chamber which is about one inch higher than the mask. I had a small slit to look through, but just kept my eyes closed the whole time. I never felt so claustrophobic in my life.
Read More...

Well, as you might expect, things don’t always go exactly as you expect when your life is in complete turmoil. Nevertheless, I am making progress. Or rather, I should say, we are making progress. “We” because I have assembled my cancer team and I’m also bringing all of you along. Read More...

The news is not good for Depot Dad, I’m afraid. In fact the news is very serious.

I have been diagnosed with melanoma, skin cancer (I refuse to honor it by capitalizing the words) . It has been in my scalp, so I have not noticed it.

It has travelled to my lymph nodes which is very bad indeed. Tomorrow I will see a cancer specialist who will let me know if the situation is either very bad or hopelessly bad.

I intend to keep this blog updated every step of the way. I know my blogging family will not mind if I turn my attention from single parenting to cancer for a while.

I am spending the day calling friends and family and letting them know what is going on.

I am very scared.

But now I have some facts, at least. And my treatments will likely begin tomorrow. If I am one of the lucky few who can beat this, than this will be the darkest day. And it will only get better from here.

. . . . . . . . . .

Heelllooo ?

This page looks so empty at the beginning of the month! So this is a reminder that older posts are at the bottom of the right hand column.

. . . . . . . . . .

Um. Well. No news today. Rats.

I’ll be calling the doc in the morning.

. . . . . . . . . .