Crazy Making
Being a single parent is hard work. Do I even need to
say it? But sometimes the world seems to conspire
against you and delivers even more
unexpected surprises into your little
home.
The Best of the Best
Its time for me to
confirm what many of you have already suspected. I
love single moms.
And why shouldn’t I? Single moms have been a part of
my life almost from the start. My own mother and
father split when I was three and my brother, sister
and I were raised by my mother. And though my mother
later remarried, my image of her as a hard working
single mother never faded.
Thank You, Mask Man
Friends Kevin, Amy, Dan, Paige, myself and Phill:
Kansas City, 1984
I was eighteen years old,
a freshman at the Kansas City Art Institute, and
working on my latest assignment, when a quirky,
mercurial, fellow student approached me and started
talking about r.e.m, elvis costello, jasper johns,
robert rauschenberg, and an old animated short film
called Thank You Mask Man. And I remember
him doing this, somehow, without needing to draw a
second breath.
Now at the time, I was naive, idealistic, and
ignorant in the ways of the larger world (um, very
much like I am now....er, topic for another day). But
in spite of those traits, this student, Dan, kept
wanting to hang around with me. It wasn’t long before
the feeling was mutual.
Performances Daily From 8 to 8
If you had known me back in my single days....oh, um, I mean, my first single days, I might have given you the impression that I was a sullen, brooding figure. You see, when I wasn’t on the clock earning my living, I was frequently stumbling around San Francisco, reading, writing, drawing, browsing book stores, and hanging out in Golden Gate park. I was always comfortable doing these things on my own. If, after a day of minding my own business, I realized, upon arriving home, that I had not uttered a single word to another living soul all day, then I would regard the day as a kind of success.
Read More...Quick Note to Commenters and Readers
So this general post will have to suffice. I am very grateful for the support and encouraging words...especially to my last post! There is nothing quite like balanced sanity from those who have perspective to give a guy...um....perspective. (Well, I didn’t say it would improve my writing!)
At any rate, look for another posting later tonight, and thank you all again.
Recipe for Dating Disaster
While waiting. Open another box of surprise. Pour it into another bowl and add joy.
Turn around for a minute to assess additional potential ingredients, like anticipation, excitement, friendship, communication, cooperation. Be sure not to confuse bewilderment with euphoria. Be sure not to confuse innuendo with innocence and most of all, do NOT confuse one bowl with another when you turn back around. Read More...
Stupid Brain! I Though I Could Count On You!
Just in case anyone started thinking I knew what I was doing around here, I thought I would share a few of the less than stellar ideas which, at one time or another, I once held. I won’t say exactly when I had these ideas. Some are from long ago and some are too recent to admit.
Read More...The Gene Pool
I can’t tell you why, but
for as long as I can remember, I had always been
afraid of water. My mother once sent me to swimming
lessons at the local pool when I was six and I nearly
had a heart attack from fright. I went to four
lessons and never went back.
A few summers later, when I turned nine, my siblings
and I visited our father who was then living in
Minnesota. We had not seen him in several years. On
one particular day there, my dad and I went to the
pool at his apartment complex. He dove off the diving
board and called for me to come join him. I timidly
sat on the stairs leading into the water. When I told
him I was scared, he let loose a string of insults
and shaming remarks. He said all nine year old boys
should be able to swim. But I didn’t go in and my
father remained silent for the rest of the
day.
The High King of Fictional Fathers
A scene from To Kill a
Mockingbird. This scene always knocks me on my butt.
Mary Badham is the greatest child actor of all
time.
public domain
image
I thought I would write a brief Father’s day entry before I got busy with the real Father’s day. Today, I’d like to make mention of my favorite fictional father, and likely one of my favorite fictional characters of all time: Atticus Finch.
Read More...Ducks in a Row Part 1: money
Ever since I became a
father, I’ve been living in anticipation of certain
questions that my children will, no doubt, ask one
day.
For so many of these topics, I feel pretty confident
that I can navigate the sometimes slippery slopes.
Want to know about sex? No problem. The origin of the
universe? I can talk. The sources of evil in the
world? Well, it’s slippery, but I’m still willing to
give it a go. As I am with the topics of the gap
between rich and poor, the origin and structure of
our government and social systems, the need to treat
your neighbor with kindness and respect and even the
importance of hard work as its own end. Heck, I’ll
even delve into the mysteries of the human heart (if
my children are still listening to me when these
questions arise in adolescence). But there is one
area that I am uniquely and horribly unqualified to
talk about. And that is the subject of money.
Date from Another Dimension
A few weeks ago, I had a nice email thing going with another part-time single parent I met on match. We made a few attempts at connecting in the real world, only to find that we never seemed to be available at the same time. We finally posted our full “shared parenting” schedules in an attempt to find a mutual minute of free time.
Read More...Little Victory #1 (Multi Course Meals)
Here is the first of what
I HOPE will be a frequent feature at Depot Dad. A
simple tip that I found to make single parenting go a
little smoother. These tips will all be tested in the
field of battle and are required to deliver real
world results. Of course, my children are not your
children, sure enough, so your milage may vary.
As the meal time provider in my family, both before
and after the separation, I have struggled with how
to best feed my children. Most readers here know the
meal questions oh too well. How do you make it
nutritious? How to you provide variety? How do you do
it on a tight budget? How do you find meals that are
easy to prepare, and whose leftovers may provide
delicious lunches the following day? It’s not easy.
Courage
When he was a young man,
one of my personal heroes, the philosopher Ludwig
Wittgenstein, (well, I did say hero after
all, not next door neighbor) quickly volunteered
himself up to the front lines at the outbreak of
World War I. He took one of the most dangerous
positions available: manning a spotlight tower, a
position that made him an obvious target to enemy
guns. He did this, not as any show of bravado or
machismo, but because, as he put it, ”facing death
square in the face will give me a chance to become a
decent human being.”
Look Again
One day when I was 9
years old in Omaha, I was playing in the backyard
with my friends Marty and Danny (Don’t worry, there
is a point to this story....I think) Anyway, we
decided that we were going to play Cavemen and the
Dinosaur. Danny and I were the cave men, and Marty
was the killer pterodactyl. “I’m going to climb up on
the clothes line post to be my perch,” Marty said.
Friendship and Disclosure
Depot Dad Goes Live...Sorta
Welcome. I am a recently
separated father with two children. One month ago I
moved into an old victorian house in Novato, CA. Near
our home is a derelict train station built in 1917.
The Depot Dad blog is intended to document this
changing phase of my life, reflect on the challenges
of being a single parent, and to fill my time until
the next train comes along.