Ever since I became a father, I’ve been living in anticipation of certain questions that my children will, no doubt, ask one day.

For so many of these topics, I feel pretty confident that I can navigate the sometimes slippery slopes. Want to know about sex? No problem. The origin of the universe? I can talk. The sources of evil in the world? Well, it’s slippery, but I’m still willing to give it a go. As I am with the topics of the gap between rich and poor, the origin and structure of our government and social systems, the need to treat your neighbor with kindness and respect and even the importance of hard work as its own end. Heck, I’ll even delve into the mysteries of the human heart (if my children are still listening to me when these questions arise in adolescence). But there is one area that I am uniquely and horribly unqualified to talk about. And that is the subject of money.

How can that be? Well, one brief anecdote will suffice. I remember as a 6 year old once seeing my parents doing their taxes. Papers covered the entire kitchen table and some were stacked on the floor. I asked what they were doing. No answer. I asked what the papers were for. No answer. Finally, wanting to play with my parents, asked, “When is this going to be over?” To which my father replied grumpily without looking up from his paperwork,”IT’S NEVER OVER!”

This was the nurturing environment I encountered when I had questions. -twitch twitch- Is it any wonder I’ve developed an attitude that money management is a painful grueling task that keeps you from playing and doing fun stuff? Well no longer. I can blame my initial attitudes on my history. But I’m a grown up now, mostly. And I will be responsible for my own attitude today.

So where to begin? How about by honestly looking at my present situation and learning from it.
I would like to direct your attention to exhibit A: a large cardboard box under my desk filled with receipts (and a few candy wrappers, spare change, and anything else I might have had in my pocket at the end of the day). That’s all well and good. At least I’ve learned to hold on to my receipts after years of tossing them out with abandon. But the truth is, I also have collections of receipts under my car seats, next to my kitchen table, in my briefcase, and occasionally in the laundry.

Now lets try a little honest self evaluation.
Jim, how much money do you have in the bank?
Um. Some.
Jim, How many checks have you written that haven’t cleared yet?
Er, I dunno.
Jim, What is your largest expense that you can actually live without?
Wait, wait! I know this one....um.....um....I dunno.
Ok, Jim, no more questions. Here is a bouncy ball. You can go over there and bounce it.
Woo hoo!

The evidence is undeniable. I have a hard time tracking my money and staying on top of my personal and business finances. But guess what is the most essential skill to have when going though a divorce other than child care? Yes, you guessed it. And single parents know that it isn’t just an essential skill for divorcing couples, but necessary to run your own households!

So, dear reader, you are about to witness a transformation. In the interests of improving my money habits, I am coming clean! I will periodically post updates on steps I am taking and changes I am making in my money world. You, my readers, will be my witnesses. I will be using all of you to keep me honest and to hold me accountable. In exchange, I will attempt to inform and entertain you with my tale, in the manner that a train wreck can be both informative and entertaining.

What? Right now? No no. Quit rushing me! I’m getting to it. I’m getting to it. The first step in making any meaningful change, of course, is to admit there is the need to change. And I’ve taken that first step. That is enough for one day. I have to go sit down now. My stomach hurts.