Start with a pleasant surprise. Add a pinch of hope. Add a dash of opportunity. Mix well. Take a small taste. Wait for batter to rise.

While waiting. Open another box of surprise. Pour it into another bowl and add joy.

Turn around for a minute to assess additional potential ingredients, like anticipation, excitement, friendship, communication, cooperation. Be sure not to confuse bewilderment with euphoria. Be sure not to confuse innuendo with innocence and most of all, do NOT confuse one bowl with another when you turn back around.

Add the remaining ingredients. You won't have to wait. Because if you have mixed up the wrong bowls, or if you have tried to cook too many items at the same time, the kitchen will explode.

Well. My kitchen exploded.

I'm sorry for being so obtuse, but I can't really be more specific than this. Because I broke a cardinal rule of working in the dating kitchen. And my kitchen skills here do not even qualify me as bus boy. I clearly have a lot to learn.

The worst part is. I may have lost a dear, dear friend in the process. Someone I respect and so wanted to be in my life. I suck.

My kitchen is on fire. It is covered in flour. The sink is running over. The dishes have smashed to the ground and I'm standing here holding a soup spoon like an idiot.

I was going to follow my previous post with a list of my better traits, but at the moment, I can't think of a single one.

I do apologize. I promise to go back to cooking school before I try to prepare any more meals.